August 2, 2006
Easily the strangest request I've had in a while
For those of you who remember the BBS (Gods, what a strange damn beast, oh the folly of youth, etc, etc)… this request came from Crosby (who was also after a couple of things from The Serial Poet, if anyone can help).
Since I found it and typed it up, I figure the unsuspecting world should suffer too.
This was a Fixed post on Lunacy>, reproduced here in all its glory(?).
Posted By: TheTrooper( . )
Date: Mon Apr 14 20:20:17 1997
Title: I’ve set fire to my fish
I’ve set fire to my fish
I cannot find my pet tree
I want to eat the mountains
I don’t think you can help me
I’ve chased all the cars down
I’ve peeed on all the lawns
I’ve sniffed all the backsides there are
I don’t think you can help me
I’ve danced in dark places
I’ve run in sun and light
I kissed the moon on Tuesday
I don’t think you can help me
I raped the rubber chicken
I’ve chewed the fat lady’s song
I counted all the sand and stars
I don’t think you can help me
I drank till the cow got sore
I sneezed till it burst
I jumped all over the great big farmboy
I don’t think you can help me
I sellotaped my ears to the wall
I’ve nailed my brains to a plate
I deflowered the supermarket
I don’t think you can help me
I erased the lexicon and replaced it with blue
Blue blue blue blue blue blue blue blue
I changed it back afterwards
I don’t think you can help me
I stood for president and failed the steps
I pulled all the hairs off my friend’s mother’s chest
I ate pork cream sandwiches
I don’t think you can help me
I sold the gates of Hell
I bought the roof of Heaven
I charmed the fleas off Cerebus
I don’t think you can help me
I don’t think you can help me
thetrooper(no. it doesn’t rhyme. it’s not meant to. it’s deeply conceptual.)
Filed by billy at 4:24 pm under the moose
12 Comments
Crosby is lurking?!?!
I don’t know, actually. He emailed me for it, not as a request to blog it.
Hey! You said you’d lost that when I asked!
This part:
I erased the lexicon and replaced it with blue
Blue blue blue blue blue blue blue blue
I changed it back afterwards
I don’t think you can help me
made me almost fall off my chair when I first read it.
OVER NINE FRIGGIN’ YEARS AGO!!
Dang.
You asked?
The only reason I have it is the rediscovery of a 21st present consisting of a printed and bound collection of all the Fixed posts on Lunacy>…
Yeah, ages ago. Probably while we were flatting together.
I’d love to revive the BBS in some form, with most of the same people.
Though it wouldn’t be the same… and that’s probably a good thing.
If anyone can work out how, I can probably host it; or there would be forum software out there.
In a lot of ways, blogs fill a similar role. One board per user.
It would be easy enough to set up a group blog with multiple authors… that would probably suffice.
Nah. Blogs just don’t cut it. It’s not just the people, it’s the breaking down into topics: post about music here, about politics here, about science here, etc.
A whole community all in one place, with clearly-marked subdivisions for content. That’s what SCFBBS was all about, for me at any rate.
I’m slowly finding out that http://www.nzrag.com/ has got a lot of us.
min
(she has too many tongues when we kiss)
Old BBS’ers never die… they just _______.
___bitch and moan on someone else’s blog.
Holy crap. Crosby? Random. I ran into Blackdove a while back – he’s married with bebe and full of bliss. It was lovely!
Good to hear of a happy Blackdove.
Though weird to see it in a comment to that post from many years ago.