Undulating Ungulate

As an update to the last post, things are actually worse than embarassing.

NZ has announced to the world that our emissions cuts of 10-20% are conditional on developing nations cutting emissions by 30-40%. And that we aren’t planning on making any real changes, only meeting those targets by carbon offsetting.

The mind boggles at how shite this is.

John Key. Worst. Leader. Ever.

Filed by billy at 3:14 pm under new zealand,no mercy for john key,Uncategorized
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No right turn and buzzandhum have good posts about National’s declaration that good faith from employers means employees are fine and won’t be exploited, forced into giving up a week of holidays, or generally screwed over in employment contracts. Buzz in particular has a really nice example of what unions do in negotiating collectively (= it is possible to win some changes) vs what happens if you try to negotiate alone (= ignored – “take it or leave it”).

This government sucks. Brazenly. One presumes the media are still tame and suckful, to allow it.

Oh, and as a side note, Morgue notes that hey, it still isn’t too late to do something about climate change before life as we know it is doomed and all, but we need to do it NOW, but under this blind fathead Key, it seems pretty hard to imagine New Zealand playing any role in that. Which is really rather dispiriting. And frankly, embarassing.

Filed by billy at 2:59 pm under no mercy for john key
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Still not following the news, but the little that is filtering through to me about what National is doing under the donkey is all pretty damn awful.

Since we last posted, National has been slashing government ministries for education, environment, and social development, shitting on environmental policy, moving towards privatising ACC for no reason other than to turn it into a pork barrel for millionaire ass-buddies, acting like building a cycleway the length of the country achieves anything (though hell, maybe this is an exceptionally forward looking post-peak oil move… ), privatising prisons, generally dicking over women and workers… well, hell, it is an entire litany of far right wing ideological psychosis, that, as ever, no one actually voted for. (No right turn has a solid run down.)

And frankly, it fucking sucks. I mean, is there any good being done here?

So here is another installment in the John Key’s a Donkey project – quite possibly the last, since the moose no longer has an external sound card. This was recorded before Christmas last year. The improvised style du jour is loosely reggae. The moose doesn’t really listen to reggae. So it goes.

It can be found over on the tinekaamos myspace page. Enjoy the last of the summer with this sweet hilarious ragga lament.

Filed by billy at 11:31 am under no mercy for john key,Uncategorized
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Here is the third installment in the John Key’s a Donkey Project.

This time out, the genre du jour is country. Actually, it’s probably fairly blues tinged, too. But what the hell. I don’t know nothing about either genre.

All these were recorded before all this neo-fascist bullshit-urgency fire-at-will-bill showing of National’s true colours, by the way. (Which is another way of saying I’m much better at the recording process now than these tracks would reveal )

But yeah. John Key’s a Donkey – Country mix is up over at the tinekaamos myspace page. It is short and sweet, clocking in about a minute thirty, and is a poignant country lament for the nation after electing a donkey Prime Minister. And probably way easier going than the last installment

Filed by billy at 1:03 am under no mercy for john key
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I was actually feeling a bit bad about the donkey-lashing that had been going on here lately. Maybe I was being a bit hard on John Key. After all, he hadn´t done anything too overtly evil yet.

But this is fucking ridiculous.

Sitting parliament under urgency – they will sit until the bills are passed – for bills that are not yet written, named, or even really defined? There is no justification for this sort of behaviour. It is seriously fucking scary in a democracy. It´s like discovering that not only is your mild-mannered, freshly pressed date a rapist who has already drugged you, but that they´re really into stabbing you in the kidneys with a rusty corkscrew while they ream your ass.

It´s like they´ve just totally lost their heads in a power mad rush of blood to their cocks, realising they can live out all their despicable authoritarian power fantasies.

No one voted for this. National never really announced what they were planning to do clearly – and now, even as the laws are being written, parliament won´t even know what they are voting on. This is not the behaviour of a transparent honest government. This is the behaviour of a sneaky, dishonest government, whose agenda cannot stand up to the scrutiny of the populace.

No one voted for this. I´m amazed how much it feels like we´re suddenly back in the Dark Ages under National.

Suddenly the lyrics to the Matilda mix of John Key´s a Donkey seem alarmingly prescient:

Once a lovely country was fooled at election time
By a heartless PR company
Who spun and they lied as they manipulated us
Hiding that John Key had no policy

John Key´s a donkey, John Key´s a donkey
He could only be more smug if he was an Aussie
He´ll sell off our all assets in the name of private enterprise
Because John Key´s a donkey, you´ll see

He teamed up with ACT who are not know for sanity
And will take the Maori down with him
And anyway Peter Dunne will go to bed with anyone
And John Key´s a donkey is a fine ass

John Key´s a donkey, John Key´s a donkey
A slimy lying douchebag, made millions in property
He´ll enslave us to Rogernomics plus and fail to save the environment
Because John Key´s a donkey, you see

He would like to rule alone, as an FPP dictatorship
Forced into coalition one two three
There seems little hope they will temper his empty hubris
Because John Key´s a donkey, a donkey is he.

John Key´s a donkey, John Key´s a donkey
Thinks he´s Obama but he´s a honky
He´ll break any promises and call it an emergency
Because John Key´s a donkey, you´ll see

And while we watch and we cringe and we stare as his ego grows
Let us pray his head explodes
before he privatises life in the name of ideology
Because that´s what donkeys fucking do.

John Key´s a donkey, John Key´s a donkey
It would only be worse if he was a zombie
Eating all our brains and chewing on our intestines
Because John Key´s a donkey…a donkey is he.
[emphasis added]

Fuck this government.

Filed by billy at 1:27 pm under new zealand,no mercy for john key,politics
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Is now up, along with the lyrics, over at the tinekaamos myspace page. (Actually, given how unrelated this stuff is to the music I´m actually making under that name, maybe I should create a separate thing for this. Oh well.)

This is fairly ludicrous, and maybe a touch vicious and offensive, but probably pretty funny. Basically, John Key´s a Donkey – Matilda mix is an a capella ode to the coalition forming process and its prospects… along with a savage dissing of John Key´s donkeyness, all to the tune of Waltzing Matilda. Sure to be a nationwide hit. Yuss.

Features a number of soon to be immortal lines. Any overt lyrical weirdness is due to making it fit the form of Waltzing Matilda.

Filed by billy at 1:46 pm under culture,new zealand,no mercy for john key,Podcasts
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Wrote a letter to the donkey the other day while I had access to a ´pooter with a printer.

Went for my first ocean swim of the season today. Invigorating.

Rewriting, hence lack of much to say in blogland.

Filed by billy at 8:14 pm under no mercy for john key,the moose
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Online culture magazine (or whatever) Auckland Fucking City has, in its second issue, among other effluvium, an exclusive ¨interview¨ with John Key.

All in all they seem like rabid sewer dwelling haters with a sense of humour, who happen to be stuck in Auckland. They´re aiming to come out weekly for the next six months, dragging the waters of our largest cesspool.

(ta to J, our tip off txter)

–

Unrelatedly: day time tv! OMFG it is like soul dissolvingly caustic.

Filed by billy at 3:31 pm under culture,new zealand,no mercy for john key
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Right, then.

Here is the first installment in the John Key is a Donkey project by Tinekaamos. The song is available on the new tinekaamos myspace page.

The basic gist of the project, at least in its present form: a selection of songs, in different styles, all entitled John Key is a Donkey. The purpose is to raise awareness of John Key´s donkeyness (or giant assness, if you prefer).

First up, we have John Key is a Donkey: Punk mix. This was recorded the day after the election in which the donkey, John Key, was elected Prime Minister of New Zealand. While this was a proud day for asses everywhere, with each passing day it is proving a greater tragedy for us humans.

Each track was recorded in one take; ie each successive layer was improvised over the rest. It is Punk As. (If I would redo anything it would be the vocals, but the improv angle is kinda neat.) Actually, having listened to it a bunch while mixing it, I can say it´s genuinely cool to listen to a bunch, and has got stuck in my head in weird ways.

But yeah. This is the raw reaction to the election of John Key, Donkey. And where the John Key is a Donkey project begins.

Enjoy!

Filed by billy at 10:53 am under culture,no mercy for john key
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So anyway. For those who don´t know Mo, he´s started a campaign of letter writing to John Key over climate change policy. Specifically, about the government approaching sanity on dealing with climate change, rather than being influenced by far right climate change denying whackjob coalition partner Rodney Hide.

Also: it is free to send letters to parliament! And the website (http://dontbearodney.blogspot.com/) provides examples and suggestions for what points to hit, and makes it very clear how to go about this, and in general explains itself more clearly than I am on its behalf, so I´m just about pointing to it for those of you who haven´t encountered it yet.

All in all, writing letters to the motherfucker may be more effective than being bitchy about him on our blogs and in conversation. (Er.) Hey, it´s worth a shot.

Filed by billy at 12:34 pm under no mercy for john key
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